Top Ten Help Desk No-No's:

10. "Still not used to this whole electricity thing, huh?"

 9. Advising the customer to lick the power supply.

 8. Whistling loudly in a monotone while looking up a part number.

 7. "You've got to be kidding!!!"

 6. "What you do is get yourself 50 cents, and go and buy a clue."

 5. "Yo no hablo ingles."

 4. Laughing maniacally...

 3. "You're screwed. You're just screwed!!!"

 2. Encouraging the caller to pound on the CPU casing.

 1. "Just how the hell did you get access to a computer?"