POINTS TO PONDER:

To sharpen your mind (and have a good laugh), ponder the following...

   - Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
   
   - How do I set my laser printer on stun?
   
   - How is it possible to have a "civil" war?
   
   - If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
   
   - If God dropped acid, would he see people?
   
   - If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
   
   - If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
   
   - If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
   
   - If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
   
   - If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
   
   - If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
   
   - Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
   
   - Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
   
   - Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
   
   - What happens when none of your bees wax?
   
   - Where are we going?  And what's with this handbasket?
   
   - If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane
     crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
   
   - If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't
     everyone just move 10 miles away?
   
   - One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
   
   - Atheism is a nonprophet organization.
   
   - If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys
     and apes?
   
   - If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they
     all still working?
   
   - Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't
     going as ghosts but as mattresses?
   
   - Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
   
   - If a mute person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
   
   - And whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "s" in it?