PIRATES!

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and
his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship.
As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his
First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly
retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on
and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party.
Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the
pirates were repelled.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two
pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in
fear, but the captain calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my
red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again the Captain
and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this
time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that
night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked
to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your
red shirt before the battle?"  The Captain, giving the
ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I
am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound
and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid."  The men
sat in silence, marveling at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that
there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding
parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to
their Captain for his usual command...

The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown
pants!"