POLITICALLY INCORRECT:

Baby seal walks into a club...

A guy comes home and he sees his girlfriend packing. He asks her: "why are
you packing?" She says "I just found out that you're a pedophile." He says
"Pedophile? That's a pretty big word for a 10 year old."

Why don't Southern Baptists ever have sex while standing up?
It could lead to dancing.

Your girlfriend's so fat that when her beeper went off in the supermarket
the little kids started yelling: "Watch out - she's backing up!"

Why do Rednecks have sex doggy style? 
So they both can watch wrestling.

What was the last thing to go through Kurt's mind? 
His teeth.

What do lawyers use for birth control? 
Their personalities.

Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season -- opening
day!!! Suddenly Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the
side and onto the field. The stunned umpire shouted, "No, Mr. President!" I
said, "Throw the first 'pitch'!"

What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a dishonest
lawyer? Chelsea.