OLD FART JOKES:

An old woman comes home, walks into the bedroom and finds her 90 year
old husband in the bedroom screwing a 20 year old girl. She grabs and
flings him out the second story window. When the police arrive they
ask her why she threw him out the window, to which she replies; "I
figured at 90, if he could fuck, he could fly."

                          ---oooOOOooo---

The three old men were sitting around complaining about how much their
hands shook.  The first geezer said, "My hands shake so bad that when
I shaved this morning I cut my face!"  The second old fogey one-upped
him: "My hands shake so bad, when I trimmed my garden yesterday I
sliced all my flowers!"  The third old man laughed and said, "That's
nothing! My hands shake so bad that when I took a piss yesterday I
came three times."

                          ---oooOOOooo---

An elderly lady goes into the doctor and tells him "Doctor, I don't
know what the problem is, but I've been farting all the time. It's not
really a problem socially because they don't make any noise and don't
smell. I just can't stop farting all the time. In fact while I've been
in here I must have farted at least 20 times." The doctor nodded and
gave her some pills. "Here take these for two weeks and see me again
when you are done." So she takes the pills and returns two weeks later
as instructed. Infuriated she confronted the doctor. "What kind of
medicine is this? I'm still farting just as much, they still don't
make any noise but now they stink terribly!" The doctor nodded,
"That's all right, now that we have your sinus problem cleared up,
we'll work on your hearing..."

                          ---oooOOOooo---

Fred's dad was so old that he finally had to put him in a rest home.
So the first night Fred's dad was there he got a raging hard-on and
the nurse that was there saw it. She decided to do the old guy a favor
and suck him off, so she did. The next day Fred came by and asked his
dad how his first night at the rest home went. His dad said he loved
it there and never wanted to leave. The next day Fred's dad had fallen
over the bathtub. As he was lying there an orderly had just happened
to be passing by and saw him bent over the tub, and so he quickly came
up behind the old man and crammed a woody up the old guys corn hole.
The next day Fred came back to see his dad and again asked him how he
liked his second night at the new home. His dad replied that he hated
it there and that he wanted to leave. His son was surprised and said,
"But dad, I thought you said you loved it here." In which his dad
replied, "You don't understand, I only get a hard-on about once a
month, but I fall down almost everyday!!"

                          ---oooOOOooo---

An elderly couple were experiencing declining memories, so they
decided to take a power memory class, where they teach you to remember
things by association. Later, the man was talking to a neighbor about
how much the class helped him. "Who was the instructor?" asked the
neighbor. "Oh, let's see," pondered the man. "Umm...what's that
flower, you know, that smells real nice, but it has those thorns...?"
"A rose?" offered the neighbor. "Right," said the man. He turned
toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the guy
we took that memory class from?"