MALE CHAUVINIST PIG FUNNIES

Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.

Q: What's the difference between a paycheck and your dick?
A: You don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.

Q: What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A: A woman that won't do what she's told.

Q: What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist
   down?
A: Marriage.

Q: What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for?
A: It's Braille for "suck here."

Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts
   that a 25 year old doesn't?
A: Her navel.

Q: Why do women close their eyes during sex?
A: They can't stand seeing a man having a good time.

Q: What's the definition of a male chauvinistic pig?
A: A man who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his
   own.

Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag you,
   what have you done wrong?
A: Made her chain too long.

Q: How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.

Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go
   they take your house and car with them.

Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After 5 years your job will still suck.

Q: Why did God create lesbians?
A: So feminists couldn't breed.

Q: What's the best thing about a blow job?
A: The five minutes of silence.