CINDERELLA

Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't
let her.  As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother
appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs
to go to the ball, but only on two conditions:

"First, you must wear a diaphragm."  Cinderella agrees.  "What's the
second condition?"  "You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your
diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."  Cinderella agrees to be home by
then.

The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up.
Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella appears, looking love-struck and
very satisfied.  "Where have you been?!?" demands the fairy godmother.
"Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours
ago!!!"

"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother.  He took care of everything!" 
exclaims Cinderella happily.

"I know of no prince with that kind of power!  What was his name?" 
asks Fairy Godmother...

"I can't remember, exactly... Peter, Peter, something or other..."