FOR THE COMPUTER LITERATE AMONG YOU, HOW DOES A CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Windows 98 and NT 5.0 Chicken  will cross road in June, no August... Sept
for sure.

Windows 95 Chicken - You see different colored feathers while it crosses,
but cook it and it tastes just like chicken.

Microsoft Chicken(tm) already owns both sides of the road and is buying the
road tomorrow.

OOP Chicken doesn't need to cross the road - just sends message.

Assembler Chicken - First it builds the road ...

C Chicken crosses without looking both ways.

C++ wouldn't cross the road. You'd just refer to it on the other side.

VB Chicken - USHighways! theRoad.cross (a chicken)

Delphi Chicken is dragged across road and dropped.

Java Chicken - If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the Server
will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.)

Web Chicken jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps going.

Gopher Chicken tried to cross and got flattened by Web Chicken.

Newton Chicken can't cluck, can't fly, but you can carry it across the road
in your pocket.

Quantum Chicken - The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides
of the road until you observe it on the other side.

Cray Chicken crosses fastest but must be dipped in liquid Nitrogen and
arrives fully cooked.

Lotus Chicken - Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!

Macintosh Chicken - No reasonable chicken would want to.  So there is no
way to tell it to.

Al Gore Chicken is waiting for completion of NCI (National Chicken-crossing
Interface) and will cross as soon as it's finished - assuming Gore is
elected and the Republicans don't gut the program.

COBOL Chicken 001 CHICKEN-CROSSING IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN PERFORM
0010-CROSS-ROAD VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL ON-OTHER-SIDE ELSE GOTO 001
CHICKEN-CROSSING