CAT LAWS:

1 - Law of Cat Inertia
    A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon
    by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a
    nearby scurrying mouse.

2 - Law of Cat Motion
    A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really
    good reason to change direction.

3 - Law of Cat Magnetism
    All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct
    proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

4 - Law of Cat Thermodynamics
    Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case
    of a cat, all heat flows to the cat.

5 - Law of Cat Stretching
    A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of
    the nap just taken.

6 - Law of Cat Sleeping
    All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a
    position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is
    possible for the cat.

7 - Law of Cat Elongation
    A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any
    counter top, that has anything remotely interesting on it.

8 - Law of Cat Acceleration
    A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good
    and ready to stop.

9 - Law of Dinner Table Attendance
    Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

10 - Law of Rug Configuration
     No rug may remain in its naturally flat state, for very long.

11 - Law of Obedience Resistance
     A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's
     desire for her to do something.

12 - First Law of Energy Conservation
     Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed
     and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

13 - Second Law of Energy Conservation
     Cats also know that energy can only be stored, by a lot of
     napping.

14 - Law of Refrigerator Observation
     If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will
     come along and take out something good to eat.

15 - Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
     Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at
     the speed of light.

16 - Law of Random Comfort Seeking
     A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most
     comfortable spot in any given room.

17 - Law of Bag / Box Occupancy
     All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within
     the earliest possible nanosecond.

18 - Law of Cat Embarrassment
     A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her
     embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

19 - Law of Milk Consumption
     A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show
     you he can.

20 - Law of Furniture Replacement
     A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional
     to the cost of the furniture.

21 - Law of Cat Landing
     A cat will always land in the softest place possible.

22 - Law of Fluid Displacement
     A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus
     the amount of milk consumed.

23 - Law of Cat Disinterest
     A cats interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the
     amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

24 - Law of Pill Rejection
     Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach
     escape velocity.

25 - Law of Cat Composition
     A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

26 - Law of Selective Listening
     Although a cat can hear a can of tuna being opened a mile away,
     she can't hear a simple command three feet away.

27 - Law of Equidistant Separation
     All cats in a given room will locate at points equidistant
     from each other, and equidistant from the center of the room.

28 - Law of Cat Invisibility
     Cats think that if they can't see you, then you can't see them.

29 - Law of Space-Time Continuum
     Given enough time, a cat will land in just about any space.

30 - Law of Concentration of Mass
     A cat's mass increases in direct proportion to the comfort of
     the lap she occupies.

31 - Law of Cat Probability (Cat's Uncertainty Principle)
     It is not possible to predict where a cat actually is, only
     the probability of where she "might" be.

32 - Law of Cat Obedience
     As yet undiscovered.