THE THREE MICE

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at
night trying to impress each other about how tough they are.

The first mouse pounds a shot of scotch, slams the glass onto the bar,
turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my 
back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in 
my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make
off with the cheese."

The second mouse orders up two shots of sour mash, pounds them both, slams
each glass into the bar, turns to the first mouse, and replies: "Yeah, well
when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it
up to a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good
buzz going for the rest of the day."

The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse...

The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't
have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and fuck the cat!"